After Surveying my partner Mandi, I was pressed to find an article of clothing to talk about. Then I noticed her Black Knitted pullover that also covered her like a gigantic turtle-neck. The article of clothing looked extremely warm, stylish, and had a since of elegance to it. This article reminded me of my mother so I was pressed to ask about what she liked about this pull over and in return I found out a lot about her.
First off, Mandi Bought this piece of clothing a couple of months ago at a store referred to as, "Forever 21" she likes shopping here because you can get stylish clothes for an affordable price.
The Garment was extremely unique, and looked equally as comfortable. From speaking with Mandi I got the since that her personality reflected the over-coat.
When I asked her whether she preferred Fashion over Comfort she said not necessarily, however she loves to wear stilettos when ever she goes out and ironically, they do not hurt her feet. Mandi would much rather be comfortable because it allows her to focus on more important things.
The one thing that she would change about this garment is to make the sleeves longer. They stop at her elbows and she would much rather them go all the way down her arms.
One of the things that she loved most about this garment was the abnormally large buttons, she said it helped make the piece look fashionable and she liked them.
From listening to Mandi talk about her black pullover, I learned a lot about her personality, she likes to have a good time and look good while doing it. She also is pretty easy going and wants to be comfortable while looking good, whether she is in the classroom, or out on the town.
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You frame your description here quite nicely with your intro and conclusion paragraphs. One revision suggestion would be to provide more detailed description of the artifact itself. You do sprinkle details about the pullover throughout your text, but try to present more of those details in a condensed fashion so that your reader can more easily visualize this object. You say at several points that you learn through analyzing this artifact that Mandi likes "to be comfortable while looking good"; somewhere early in your text, provide a detail-laden description of this pullover that helps readers to see both the "comfortable" and the "good-looking" aspects of this artifact.
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